My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I lost the right to judge tonight
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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