there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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