I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
