You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize