I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize