i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
