its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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