I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
