Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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