reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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