margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Shame is for Republicans.
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