Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
