Got a toothbrush?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
