You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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