The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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