A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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