she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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