he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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