i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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