I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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