My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
