Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
