hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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