A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just pee around me
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
