I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
