mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize