im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
this will be a night to untag.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
