its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
