He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
