Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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