Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
