Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
