White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize