Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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