its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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