My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
