The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize