She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and she was petting her beer can
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
