So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
