Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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