Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Welp...herpes.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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