SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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