New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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