She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
