"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
