Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
