So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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