You can't special order awesome
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
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