At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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