I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
