you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
