He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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