I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
