Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I deserve this hangover.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
