At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
