we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
