Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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