im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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