your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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