She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize