What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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