Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
