ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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