So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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